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Stupid Things that College Kids Say

“It doesn’t stick to mine, so I guess you’re a freak.” - Emily (to Adrien)

“Pizza?!?” – Adam

“*sigh* The floor is too far away.” – Beth

“Whoa, down boy down boy! It’s getting hot!” – Cat

“As soon as they started talking about computer programming, I was like *snore*.” – Beth

“So one was like 6’0” and the other was like 5’…12”…” – John

“I’m gonna study breast milk!” – Beth

“Eat a fucking cow!” – Cat

“Guys… I just realized we suck.” – Beth

“She’s walking down the stairs, ‘cause she’s Indian.” – Cat

“I want a popsichahahahahehehehee!” – Cat

“Get off on your jacket?” – Cat

“J is for Jorgasm.” – Cat

“Why can’t I tell the difference between a drunk Emily & a sober Emily?”
“Because she’s always crosseyed?!” – Beth & John

“I will be there faster than you can say ‘BDiddy to the rescue!’” – Beth

“When I am older I am going to have a styrofoam house and everything will be throwaway. Hell my kids will even be throwaway. When they get dirty, I’ll just throw them away!” – Beth

“Freshman 15… or blotation?” – Cat

“Did you just say you were eating Jesus?” – Beth (to Cat)

“Why are you so homosexual?” – Cat (to John)

“Eww, I’m gross!” – Emily

“I love your hair!”
“Thanks! I grew it myself!” – Cat & Natalie

“You creepy little hamster-like creatures!” – Beth (about John & Adrien)

“Where’s the W in NAACP?” – James

“… having sex while some little kid is having a birthday party.”
“Tell me it wasn’t your brother… having the party!” - Beth & James

“My head is coming out of Brett’s crotch.” – James

“You can’t leave now! I’m feeding myself!” - Beth

“I like to be a hot dog.”- Cat

“If I wake up dead, that would suck.” - Cat

“Maybe you’re using it wrong.”
“Maybe you put it in the wrong place.”
“That’s what SHE said!” – James, Tony & Beth

“Did you just say ‘Let’s all play with ourselves?’” – James (to Emily)

“Can we stop the anal sex please?” – Emily

“James, you’re fucking a moron!” – Brett

“John… Dangerously close to the boobs… gotta stop.” – Emily

“I’m not gonna give him a hug now, he has a knife… I’ve gotta get him in the bed.” – John

“You could be a para-paraplegic.” – James

“Poor Adrien.”
“Why poor Adrien? She only has to put up with me; I have to be me.” – Emily & John

“I’m not an ass. I’m an ass boy.” – John

“I don’t have Chinese food in my pouch. I’m just really happy to see you.” – James

“Spanish sounds like really bad rap.” – John

“You guys are going to break something!”
“Like hymens?!” – Beth & John

“Oh! That hymen!” – Tony

“You have Adrien ass on your nuts.” - Beth

“KY Jelly, I put it on toast!” - Beth

“…Trix or Fruity Pebbles?”
“Mmm hmm.” - Emily & Beth

“School can suck my dick!”
“You have a dick?!”
“Yeah... in her drawer!” - Cat, Beth & Travis

“What was I gonna do? Oh yeah… nothing.” - Beth

“What the hell am I gonna do with one lesbian?!” - Travis

“Is it possible to have more than 999 meal plans? If so, I’d like to meet that person… and shake their fat.” - John

“What are people supposed to eat?!”
“Each other! Get it? It’s sexual and cannibalistic!” - James & John

“Who came up with those moves for Justin Timberlake’s video?”
“I did.”
“So now you’re a klepto and a compulsive liar. Good job, Beth.” - Adrien, Beth & Emily

“She just said ‘Adrien, come out and play.’”
“Yeah she’s talking about a boy.”
“Who’s dead.” - Adrien, Beth & Emily

“I promise I won’t kill her… much.” - Beth

“Damn urine.” - Beth

“This absorbs too well!” - Beth (on pantyliners)

“Oh no! Cat’s personality just got reversed from the potion she drank.”
“Maybe now she’ll shut the hell up and wear pants.” - Beth & Emily

“The only person on my floor who I hate lives with me.” - Andy

“I have two major goals in life. One is to never kill a cat. I like cats! The second is to own a pool table.” – Travis

“That’s what you get for not liking my sex!” - Cat

“Did you just lick his dip??” - Travis

“Good luck with that burning sensation.” - Chris

“Eww! Some people are not allowed to reproduce!” - Cat

“I don’t want to be a godmother yet.” - Emily

“When did you become a vegetarian?”
“When she gave up the meat!” - Beth & John

“The best way to get rid of your boyfriend is to get a penis.” – Beth

“I love being paid to sleep!” – Beth

“You have to pour the milk so it’s ABOVE the cereal! That way everything gets milked!” – Meghan

“… she throws up everything she eats.”
“Why, ‘cause she’s dyslexic?” – Emily & Beth

“He’s looking for his Tinkerbell.”
“He’s looking for a fairy!” – Beth & Emily

“Emily just said dick. Which is a synonym for penis.” – Beth

“I don’t want them recycling anything that I poop in.” – Beth

“I haven’t felt this dumb in three hours.” – Mike

“You guys come up in half an hour, at 6:30.” – John (at 4:00)

“I hope they don’t dismember you. I’d miss your member!” – Beth (to Travis)

“Ah! Hair in my eye! Or… if my mouth were my eye, I’d be telling the truth.” – Beth

“I’m quite dyke-ish.” – John

“Remember that time last week when I told you to shut the hell up?… I’m sorry.” – Emily

“Yoink! Oh… I only got half a yoink. I got an oink.” – Beth

“The flower you got me are healthy, they drink a lot.”
“Yeah, they drink a lot. They go home and beat the baby’s breath.” – Beth & John

“…Cat comes in laughing like she’s on fire.” – Travis

“When are we going to eat?”
“Peanut butter and crack sandwich!… oh, when.” – Adrien & John

“John… Valentine’s Day isn’t just for white people.” – Beth

“I have three midterms, four things of cheese, and a big bucket of chicken.” – Jarrod

“I’d rather drive a Vibe than a Breeze.”
“They both sound like bad douche commercials.” – James & John

“Look at my hole!” – Beth (about her sock)

“I’m making an ocean in my mouth!” – Beth

“… to be king you don’t need a castle.”
“Yeah but to be queen you have to clean it!” – John

“To hell with you!”
“To hell with you!”
“See you in hell then!” – Travis, Beth, & Travis

“That’s a ‘Full House’ ending.” – Emily

“Single white male, seeking female with small bladder.” – Beth

“I thought I saw something little and white fly out of your mouth.”
“Maybe it was Adrien.” – Beth & Travis

“[The Hulk] looks like a cross between Shrek and retardedness.” – John

“I think [Michael Jackson] has no sense.”
“I think his dad beat it out of him.” – Adrien & Kimberly

“I was riding the vacuum in my underwear.” – Cat

“This is where I usually see Broccoli. He’s usually on this side of the street walking this way. And by usually, I mean that one time I saw him last week.” – Beth

“Sluts are endless fun.” – Emily

“He’s like a court jester. But the kind you kill because he’s not funny.” – Adrien (on Dan McDonald)

“What happens if you don’t do your project?”
“You become a B-list student, so you don’t have access to the equipment so you can’t do your project again.” – Cat & Beth

“I think you’re singing it wrong.”
“It’s a remix, jerks.” – Andy & Beth

“It’s okay, my face is in her rack.” – John

“So do we get four hours of free time now instead of two?”
“Adrien, time doesn’t double here.” – Adrien & Emily

“I don’t want a Spiderman kiss.” – Beth

“I’m trying to win, so I’m concentrated. Like orange juice.” – Adrien

“Beth, you’re an honorary black person.” – Adrien

“My body looks like a banana.” - Cat

“I’m gonna go cover the grill and then sit and watch a little bit of the war.” – Bruce

“They’ll be like, ‘Look, college kids! Wow, that kid has a beard!’” – Travis

“I was confused too, ‘cause when you say something smells like yellow, I don’t really know what that means.” – Emily (to Beth)

“Why do you guys always sleep so long?”
“I dunno, polio?” – Beth & John

“That’s hussein-y.” – Andy (think “smurfy”)

“Diddy, it’s never fun to be blind.” – Emily

“They don’t want to go to war, so I can botch up their language.” – John (on French)

“What’s a bad nacho?”
“One that robs a bank!” – Travis & John

“I don’t want to glow in the dark.”
“Get a strap-on.” – Beth & Phil

“[Snoop Dogg’s] face would cancel the boobs out.” – Andy

“If I was white, I’d be like ‘Yeah, let’s go!!’” – Adrien

“Can you get rabies from kissing a raccoon?” – Travis

“We’re all dead. I mean stupid.” – Beth

Puckeye42II: my attempt to find a tanning guide, I found a nude beach resort guide

Puckeye42II: we need to try something
OSUspacey: we're not going to a nudist colony

"I adore you baby. Tomorrow we'll open a pizza shop." – Andy
and when asked why he said that...
"Oh, I guess I was dreaming about econ."

osuhockeyfan08: i type like i have downs syndrome

Stupid Things that Lebo Kids Say

aRiEsCarNeRo25: woo hoo=zoo

"Oh, it's another one of my ransom-note birthday cards." - Katie

"Whoa! I've seen you!" - Dan (to EDawg)

"I'm miraculously stupid."
"How is being stupid miraculous?"
"Case in point." - Dan & me

"Em, didn't you used to have a quote in your profile about wanting to drive the gazebo?"
"... You mean the Zamboni?"
"Yeah. What's a gazebo?" - Katie & me

"Wouldn't it be awful if these were real people you were controlling?"
"Diane, it's a video game, not a voodoo doll."
"I know. That's why I said 'what if.'" -- Diane & me

"What's your boyfriend doing tonight?... I mean your brother." -- me (to Nate)

"You're like JLo, I can't get in touch with your people."-- my boss

"Old School would be under O, wouldn't it?"-- a customer

OSUspacey: oh honey! tomorrow at the commons they're serving a vegetable corn dog and we're missing it!!
osuhockeyfan08: oh damn
osuhockeyfan08: my stomach has tears

"Wait, they banned pants?!" -- Brittany